Facing The Final Stages Of Life
When someone’s cancer is no longer responding to treatment, it can also be a scary time for those close to them. No matter how hard it might be, it’s still important to try to be there to give support. Try to follow the cues and stay in the background but be available when they need you.
Some people worry about what to say when a person with cancer talks or asks about dying. Listen to them and be open and honest. Dont try to answer questions that you dont know the answers to. Offer to help them reach out to their health care team. There are no magic words for a person who is dying, but often your presence and support goes a long way.
Encouraging Messages For Someone With Breast Cancer
About 276,480 new cases of invasive breast cancer will be diagnosed in 2020, according to the American Cancer Society. But there are lots of reasons to have hope there are currently more than 3.5 million breast cancer survivors in the United States alone.
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If you have a loved one with breast cancer, there is no shortage of inspirational words you can say. Here are some encouraging quotes and messages for breast cancer patients.
Encouraging Words For Breast Cancer: When Someone Has To Undergo Breast Cancer Treatment
Martha, sweetheart, I love that youre keeping a straight face for the kids and me. I know that deep down, youre scared about the chemotherapy. Please dont be scared. I am putting my bet on you, and I am counting on hope to get me through. Just so you know, the kids and I are here for you through all of this.Lizzie dear, I wish I was there to hold your hand as you start your cancer treatment. I just want you to know that despite the grim situation at hand, you are still one of the lucky ones. Not many women get their chemotherapy in a country with a health system like ours. Stay strong. I love you.
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Dear Chloe, I am writing to let you know that my family and I are praying for you during this hard time. This is a test from God, just like the tests he gave Esther and Rebecca in the Bible. Those women made God and their people proud, and you will too. Stay strong, dear.As someone whos been through chemotherapy myself, I can attest to how draining, painful, and dreary it is. I also consider it to be one of the most revealing moments of my life. It bolstered my strength and helped me to prioritize things in my life. I dont want you to be scared of chemotherapy, Audrey. Youll make it out stronger than ever.
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How Else Can I Help
Looking for more ways to lend a hand to those with breast cancer? There are lots of ways to help out, show you care and make others aware:
- Create an online calendar to organize meal deliveries, rides and other tasks to assist your loved one as he or she travels the breast cancer journey.
- Bring together family, friends and coworkers to help support and care for your loved one through a caring social network and planner. CaringBridge provides sites where friends and family can stay connected and updated on someones health event and leave messages of hope and encouragement. The planner also gives you the power to set a community of support in motion by organizing meals, tasks and other helpful activities.
- Join us in a Komen Race for the Cure® or More than Pink Walk, the largest series of 5K runs/fitness walks in the world.
- Komen is lucky to have so many corporate partners in the fight against breast cancer Learn how you can participate in raising money and awareness for breast cancer by participating in these events or buying these everyday products.
What Day Works For A Visit
Humans are social creatures. We thrive off personal interactions, especially with those who we feel comfortable around. During this difficult time, its crucial to show your support by planning regular visits. This will give your friend or family member a sense of community and help them feel like things are more normal. For example, the CaringBridge Planner helps you coordinate care and organize needs like bringing meals, rides to doctor appointments or taking care of pets.
Initially, when my dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer his friends came around and visited. Further into this disease they stopped coming. My wish is that they still continued to come visit, even if he wasnt interacting with them. My dad still needed the support and love and care of his friends. I would just go sit with my dad and read to him or talk to him about stuffeven mundane stuff because it helps him to not be alone and to have some sense of normality in his illness.
Susan B.
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Acknowledge Them & What Theyre Going Through
Instead of trying to be unnaturally positive, acknowledge where they are and what theyre going through. Tell them that you care about them and acknowledge that, although you dont know how they feel, you get that its making life difficult. And offer to help. What they want and need most from you is to feel like youre there and wont abandon them. So, do that by saying:
- This must be hard and Im sorry that youve got to go through this. How can I help you get through it?
- I dont know how you feel but understand that this must be difficult. I want you to know that Im here to listen anytime you want to talk.
- I dont know what to say other than Im here for you.
Get Well Wishes For Cancer: What To Write In A Card
Blake started out scribbling in cards over 30 years ago. Though his handwriting is mostly unchanged, the content has improved.
The word cancer elicits emotion from most people. Most people know someone who has been touched by cancer in some way. Writing an encouraging message to someone affected by cancer is sometimes difficult, however, due to the seriousness of the situation.
Cancer get well wishes don’t have to be serious. Humor can be used carefully and with tact. Humor is a coping skill that can help heal the mind and the body. Whether you decide to go with a serious message or a humorous escape, the examples below will help give you options and ideas.
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Spare Some Time To Help Those Close To The Person With Cancer
Dont forget those also affected the partner, children, parents, best friends, carers. Think about what you might be able to do to offer support to them.
Check in with them and be positive they do not want to hear negativity either.
Listen to them, let them open up to you, offer counsel if you can. Offer support and kindness and someone they can unburden their feelings and fears on so they dont bottle it all up.
These kind of things go a long way with how to support a friend with cancer.
Ill take this opportunity to tell you all how absolutely, wonderfully amazing my husband has been throughout this whole process. I always knew he had strength but with me being the, ahem, bossier of the two of us he probably didnt always get a chance to show just how strong he could be. I love you very much Mr M and honestly you amaze me constantly with your love and support and understanding. I digress!
The three biggest things I suppose Im aiming to achieve by blogging about my cancer journey is raising awareness to all who might be reading and encouraging them to do all they can to not be in the position that Im in.
Check your boobs. Women and men. Check each other boobs go for your lives.
Secondly, I want to try my best to take the fear out of a cancer diagnosis. Not that Im not scared because of course, I am. But Im also feeling so positive and hopeful and Im focusing on healing myself.
Dont Make It About You
When I was going through treatment, there was a mom at my kids school who would shake her head every time she saw me and looked as though she was going to have a nervous breakdown. It was as if I was causing her pain just because I was walking down the same hallway as her with a scarf tied around my head while looking pale and sick. She was making it all about her.
She wasnt the only one. Here are some of the things I heard from people :
- I can only imagine what it would be like to go through this. My life and my family would be a wreck!
- I know how hard this is for you.
- You poor thing. I dont know what Id do if I had to deal with this.
- I cried all night worrying about you.
Theres nothing wrong with thinking these things so long as you keep your thoughts away from the cancer survivor. Because when you say these things, youre placing an additional burden on the cancer survivor that they dont need.
And PLEASE dont go missing on people who are battling cancer because youre not sure what to say/do or because its uncomfortable. Several important people in my life went missing mostly because they made it all about them and had trouble dealing with the vulnerable feelings that came up for them. Heres the thing: its not about you.
The truth is that life is messy and uncomfortable, so find a way to deal with it and dont disappear .
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What If The Person Refuses Or Stops Cancer Treatment
At some point during a person’s cancer journey, they might refuse or decide to stop cancer treatment. You might feel like they’re giving up, and that can be upsetting or frustrating. You might not agree with their decision, but it is important to support them and give them the space to decide what they feel is best for their health, well-being, and quality of life.
Even after a person refuses cancer treatment or decides to stop their treatment, it’s important to make sure they fully understand their options. You might want to suggest the person to talk with their cancer care team about their decision. Some will and others won’t. After talking to their cancer care team, don’t be surprised if your loved one still decides to stop or refuse treatment. Continue to offer your support.
Palliative care can help anyone with cancer, even those who are sure that they don’t want treatment for the cancer itself. Palliative care is focused on treating or improving symptoms like pain or nausea, and not the cancer itself. It helps the person feel as good as possible for as long as possible.
The person who refuses or stops cancer care may be open to hospice. Hospice care treats a person’s symptoms so their last days may be spent with dignity and quality, surrounded by their loved ones. Hospice care is also family-centered it includes the patient and the family in making decisions.
What To Say When Someone Is Diagnosed With Cancer
Finding out that somebody you care about has cancer such as leukemia, lymphoma or myeloma can be shocking, emotional and devastating. When someone else’s diagnosis makes you feel this bad, it’s almost impossible to imagine how the person who has received the diagnosis must feel.
Your hope is that you can find the right words or the right actions to take some of the pain away, but how can you say what you feel? And what is the right thing to say?
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‘moving On’ Can Be Hard
Treatment is over, and there are no signs of cancer. Thatâs great news, but some people still may have some mental healing to do. Your loved one may show signs of post-traumatic stress disorder, like not sleeping well or having crying fits. They may constantly check for lumps and bumps. Instead of telling them to âget back to normal,â urge them to talk to their doctor. Medications, therapy, and other treatments can help.
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Inspirational Quotes For Cancer Patients
Sometimes circumstances might call for something a bit more intense than a basic positive message intended to reassure. An inspirational quote from a celebrity or other high profile individual might be just what someone you care about who has cancer needs to hear. These can be good messages for cards, notes or letters, as well as for in-person conversations.
- You cant be brave if youve only had wonderful things happen to you. –
- Pain is temporary, it may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever. – Lance Armstrong
- Yesterday is gone, tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today, let us begin. Mother Teresa
- Cancer is not a death sentence, but rather it is a life sentence it pushes one to live. –
- Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement nothing can be done without hope. – Helen Keller
- Cancer is a word, not a sentence. – John Diamond
See cancer quotes for some other examples of recognizable sayings you may find to be helpful.
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Special Considerations For The Workplace
Breast cancer diagnosis and treatment affects everyone differently. How your colleague is dealing with their diagnosis is a personal thing, although she is probably experiencing physical andemotional distress on some level.
The best way to help your colleague will depend on the type of work she does, the kind of treatment she is undertaking and whether or not she needs or wants to work.
Some women return to work as quickly as possible because they crave the normality and companionship that work offers. Others need time away from work to deal with breast cancer and its treatment. If youre not sure what will help your colleague, you may find the following suggestions useful:
Remember It Isnt Just Hair That They Might Lose Its Their Hair
That hair is a part of them so try not to be too dismissive. Offer sympathy, dont bombard them with ideas of how they should deal with the hair loss.
Ask if they have a plan of how to manage it, ask if they want you to do any research for them, or to go to the hairdressers or help choose a wig.
Offer to shave your own hair off! They wont take you up on it but theyll be blown away that youve offered.
Just, um, be prepared to follow through if they DO take you up on it! And what a bloody brilliant person you are if you do ha ha!
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People Need A Break From Cancer
If your friend is up for getting lunch or meeting for coffee, the last thing they probably want to do is talk about cancer. After all, they’re more than their disease. Try to keep the conversation focused on everyday things — their kids, a recent vacation, or a TV show you both like. If they want to talk about cancer, theyâll bring it up.
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Putting Texting Into Practice
I no longer live at home I live in another state. Call it long-distance caregiving or simply being a caring daughter, but texting has made it much easier to be present and supportive throughout my moms cancer journey.
When the average American already sends and receives an estimated 85 text messages a day, why not use texting as a support mechanism?
We spend hours on our phones every day. Now, we can use that time to support our loved ones.
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What To Write To Someone Who Has Cancer
If youre sending a message to someone with cancer, a text or a card, fill it with love and positive thoughts. Get well wishes for cancer patients can leave you wondering what to write.
What are the right words for cancer patients?
Its hard to know what to say to cancer patients for encouragement.
But try to keep their spirits up, make them laugh, forgive their mood swings and memory loss and sad days.
Cry with them, then distract them from their fears and pick them up again. When thinking about what to write to someone with cancer, make sure to use positive words.
Tell them how loved they are. These are really comforting words for someone with cancer.
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An example of what to write in a card for someone with cancer:
Dear ___ I want you to know that Im here for you, for whatever you need. I love you and I think youre amazing
Humorous words of encouragement for cancer patients will come over time possibly when theyre feeling stronger.
When choosing a card for someone with cancer, I would suggest looking for one with a bright, postitive image nothing sad.
If you dont know what to say to a cancer patient or what to say to someone going through chemo, just ask them. If the words for someone with cancer dont come to you, they will tell you what they need if you ask.